Please take a long, deep clearing breath and receive the healing intention that is contained in this message for you:
Two years ago, I found myself in the middle of an extremely challenging time. My spirit’s desire to learn and grow can be so strong at times that I tend to bring up “growth opportunities” that match that intensity. And this usually means, “Francois (and my poor wife Christi) buckle up!”
I am very clear that I didn’t come here in this life to waste my time on mere physical enjoyment, but rather to wake up to my True Nature, and to use my abilities, presence and awareness to help others who are also interested in knowing themselves.
Here’s what happened this time: I lost 15 lb in one week, and was overwhelmed by an inner panic and anxiety. It felt like my body was breaking down before my eyes. Weird symptoms were manifesting; it felt like my chest was collapsing, and I became extremely sensitive to sensory input, especially sound – a helicopter flying by a mile away set my ears on fire. Driving on the “freeway” didn’t feel free at all, but rather like driving through hell.
Finally I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I couldn’t sleep at night anymore, and was in a constant cold sweat. Christi would wake up also to hold my head and massage my neck, in an effort to help my system calm down. Having made a career as a healer and coach, my natural response to crisis is to consult with God, my Guides and my Higher Self, in addition to a handful of outside sources that I trust to give me honest and straightforward information. But this time, all my sources gave me the same terrifying answer: “You must make the choice: Life or Death.”
I took this photo from our deck in Tahoe a few days ago, before leaving after two weeks of work and rest.
I thought that I had already made that choice a long time ago, so this threw me into a quagmire of fear and doubt. It made me doubt the very ability of my spirit to choose my highest good at all. Of course I wanted to live, and I thought I had chosen life beyond question, so what could this mean?
As these confused thoughts swirled through my aching head, fear had me in its grip, convinced that something “bad” was happening to me. I personally knew people whose Lyme disease was so bad they had to spend days in the hospital every week to get IV treatments, and that was only the beginning of their problems. What if I was diagnosed too late to be fully cured, and would be permanently damaged by this brutal disease? The thought filled me with terror and dread.
At this time, I had scheduled my second pilgrimage to visit medium Joao (John of God) in Brazil, and the trip dates were coming up. I didn’t know whether I could handle the long journey there in my wretched state. Twenty-seven hours in taxis, buses, planes, etc… it all seemed way too overwhelming. The day before we were supposed to leave was my worst day, and Christi took me to the ER where I spent 12 hours. The doctors there did a comprehensive panel of tests including cat scans and X-rays, but they found nothing. Proceeding with our pilgrimage as planned almost seemed crazy in light of my condition, but one of our spiritual mentors told Christi: “Just get him on the plane.”
Going to Brazil was definitely not logical at a time when I might end up needing medical attention, but doctors in the U.S. couldn’t figure how to help, and deep down I knew that if I wanted to heal, I needed to dig deeper into myself than ever before. The next day when it was time for us to leave for Brazil, I packed in one hour, and it took every bit of energy I could muster. Then, once we had checked in at the airport, security noticed that while Christi did have the required visa for her visit to Brazil, her actual passport had expired! Miraculously, although Christi couldn’t fly that day, the airline ended up letting her change her flight for free once she got her passport renewed, because they had erroneously allowed her to check in with an expired passport. I soon realized that this had all been orchestrated by a higher intelligence, because I had to walk this particular passage of my journey alone.
Now I am finally coming to the core of this story, the part that changed my life and brought me deep healing. I arrived on a Friday morning, and was immediately ushered in front of Joao de Deus that very afternoon to receive the spiritual care I needed from the healing entities that work through him.
This photo was taken the previous year, the day after I met Oprah Winfrey.
The next few days were extremely intense, self-confrontational, dark and scary. Christi joined me in Brazil for the second week of the three-week-long trip. That Wednesday morning, as prescribed the previous Friday, I received a spiritual surgery from John of God. Though Joao doesn’t touch people physically during surgery, the entities of Light who work with him are working on patients energetically. They apply a spiritual anesthesia, which causes you to become comatose for about 24 hours while they work on you.
Later on the same day that I received this spiritual surgery, I was lying in bed at my hotel when I was woken up by a big orb of golden light. It was my guide Oro. He told me to “Sit up,” so I sat up. Then he said, “Put your left hand on your heart,” so I did. Finally he said, “Say ‘I Love You.’” I thought to myself, “How cheesy!” but I followed his instructions anyway. Finally, Oro said, “Say it 54 times.” “Fifty-four times!” I thought. “That’s quite a specific number! Am I making this up?” So I proceeded as instructed, but found myself struggling to keep an accurate count. After all, he didn’t tell me to say it “about a dozen times,” or any other vague number. It was fifty friggin’ four! For the next three days, I tried to find ways to be precise,but just couldn’t find a reliable system and was getting frustrated.
Then on the third day, Christi came back from The Casa with a gift for me. She had received guidance to get me a rosary, and she put it around my neck. It wasn’t a special-looking rosary, but I could feel its power and was overtaken by a strong emotional response when I put it on. Still, I struggled to keep count for my guide’s specific prescription. But two days later, as I was sitting in bed with my left hand on my heart, telling it “I Love You,” I finally asked out loud, “How do I keep track?” It was then that the golden orb entered the room once again and said in a neutral voice, “Count the beads on your rosary.” I took the rosary off my neck and started counting… one… two… ten… forty… fifty-one… fifty-two… fifty-four! There were fifty-four beads exactly! In that moment, I felt like the Heavens had opened up, and I was showered with an incredible surge of love and gratitude. At a time when I had doubted God’s ability (or willingness) to bring me healing and transformation, the realization that a higher intelligence cared enough for me to give me this tangible and potent process blew my mind and heart wide open. I saw the Light of Truth, the Light that myself and everyone else came from, the Light of my True Nature. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I watched my heart space fill with rainbow streams of light.
This is a photo of my actual rosary.
I did this self-love rosary process at the beginning of each day as part of my meditation, and I felt stronger every time. My mind, my emotions, and my physical body gained more and more stability as the days progressed. Every time I felt shaky in any way, or when fear tried to seep into my mind, I would take my left hand and apply it to my heart. I did this in movie theatres, music shows, while driving, before teaching at the University … By the time a year had passed, I had told my heart that I loved it over 20,000 times. I had chosen Love over Fear, Life over Death, and I had driven deep into my subconscious the knowledge that I am loved by my own Self, and by God. I am now stronger and clearer than ever as a result of this practice.
With every self-love mantra I said, my life adjusted to reflect my new relationship to myself. Yes, my health got better – two additional Lyme disease blood tests upon my return from Brazil showed no trace of Lyme – but so did my financial abundance, which has increased dramatically. My relationships deepened, and my service in the world expanded, all as a result of increasing my self-love. Having shared this story and the process I was given with a few close friends, I saw how helpful it was for them too, and now they have easily embraced the self-love rosary process as a practice in their own lives. They encouraged me to share it with you too.
So here is my invitation for you today. If you feel that things are not quite where you know they should be, on whatever level, find a rosary or a mala, put your left hand on your heart, and say to it: “I Love You.” Repeat this fifty-four times or even 108 times if you’re using a mala! But don’t do it for the external results, although those will certainly come. Do it for yourself, because you know it is the right prescription for your life. Set yourself straight again. Fill your own Heart with the Love you deserve. If you find yourself doubting that you can actually love yourself, let whatever Higher Power you believe in do the loving and simply intend to allow it in.
May all the choices you make this year 2015 reflect the Love that you Are.